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because I hurt...<|3

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[22 Aug 2008|01:02am]

It's not just wrist cuts but a ritual, like mortification of flesh. I like myself-made-scars. They are like tattoos on my soul.
& you? what is your reason?
In some episode of House M.D. I heard, that razorblade cuts cause inflow of endorphines up to brain. & after that I realized that
it is really so! It's no usual pain, but self-made pain & it's very different from any other sorts of physical harm & damage.
make me feel

2 Years [23 Oct 2006|10:07pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

Oh, my dear friends.
I read these posts and my heart aches for you all.
It's been two years since I last felt the blade slice into my skin.
It's been two years since the wonderful feeling of freedom that comes with it.
I still want to cut.
I want to so badly, but I never will go there again.
I guess you can call me 'normal' now.
But I am far from normal.
PTSD, OCD, Manic-depressive, former cutter; how is that normal?
I ache for you all because I ache for myself.
I'm free from the chains but I still wear the shackles.

make me feel

[20 Apr 2006|05:22am]

make me feel

i think you guys should. [13 Apr 2006|09:22am]

[ mood | bored ]

make me feel

It's so hard... [03 Apr 2006|04:48am]

[ mood | fuck it ]

So it's been about 2 weeks since I have cut myself. I can't stop, I did for a little while but then all this shit started going on with my parents and not being able to see my boyfriend as much as I would like. I mean, ONE WEEKEND OUT OF A MONTH!? It's just to hard. I can't deal with everyday life. Sometimes it's just to hard. I won't kill myself but cutting is something I do. I hide them well though. I haven't been caught. It's just so hard.

1 make me feel

Haven't Cut [03 Mar 2006|01:56pm]

I haven't cut in a year and three months.
It has been so hard, but so far it's worth it.
I want you to know that you CAN do it.
The best of luck my friends!
1 make me feel

[12 Apr 2005|02:21pm]

I'm my own worst enemy again...

"Sometimes the only thing left to do is give up."
1 make me feel

Damnit. [11 Apr 2005|10:25am]

[ mood | confused ]

I feel like cutting again. And I don't know why.

In three months it will be one year since I've cut. (Even though I had an accident in January.:[ ) oops.

Why do I keep thinking about it and wanting to do it?

Well whatever. I'll fucking get over it.




me and andrea.


hahaha jamie has poop on her face..but not really..its just chile

4 make me feel

thanx [15 Mar 2005|03:34pm]

well not alot goes on at this community so i think im gunna leave. you guys are really nice and i thank you fer everything. my advise to everyone is jus look for that special someone b.c i found him and my life couldnt b better. he treats me the way i should be. and its just amazing. thanx again love you all

1 make me feel

[02 Mar 2005|01:54pm]

Hey you,
What's life like out there?
Out there in the normal air.
Not trapped in darkness
Afraid to live,
Afraid to breathe.
Living to die
Dying to bleed.

Why do you hurt so bad pretty darlin?
Why must you have that empty look?
Why do you seem like you could cry,
But all that comes out is blood?
Why do you hurt so bad pretty darlin?
You hurt so bad you had to decide
That you'd rather die than live your life.
Why do your red tears fall?

These eyes of mine could stop the world.
They could start wars or they could stop them.
These eyes of mine are so beautiful,
You'd never guess what's behind them.
You'd never guess about the pain.
You'd never think about the hate.
You'd never look into these eyes and know...
That I would like to die.
It's so easy to fool the world with these eyes and a fake smile.

Sorry, I am in a...depressed mood
3 make me feel

HAPPY SI AWARENESS DAY&&3 months and 1 day for me [02 Mar 2005|02:45am]

[ mood | content ]

okay well i, the mod suck at life! but hey who cares?

okay so yeah....since its 2:41 in the morning..yesterday was SI Awareness Day. i hope everyone wore their orange. after Nikki danzer606  reminded me, i made some orange bracelets with the date and everything on it and put the orange ribbon symbol on my away message :) i hope everyone is doing okay? :/ i'd like to thank the members of this community for just joining in general. i hope to get more. i like helping and i'm sure everyone else does too.

Michaela ______disco posted an amazing entry about it me and it was just really nice to have someone say that. the entry said:

Christine, I'm so proud of what you've done and how you've helped yourself and others.

so yeah..thank you a lot hun :)

i hope this is somehow encouraging to others---


yeah. i've been SI free for 3 months and 1 day :) -pats self on back-
oh since i'm bored....here are some pictures.

badass2.bmp << hah.

have a good night everyone :D <3

4 make me feel

[01 Mar 2005|03:54pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

happy SIAD... it was so sad cuz no1 knos about this day and i like wanted to tell ppl but they would look at me like i was craaazy.

make me feel

[01 Mar 2005|03:17pm]

who wore their orange?
happy SIAD.
3 make me feel

[01 Mar 2005|01:49pm]

Happy S.I.A.D guys. It feels weird saying that, considering it's not something you'd really celebrate, so why say happy?
I wore my orange today, and no one knew what it meant...

I'm new here I guess. I'm Krista, I'm 18, I'm shy and I love animals. I've been self-harming since I was seven, I know that's a long time....

Ok, I want to cut. I want to bleed. I have no idea why I want to do this. I've been doing so good lately and now all of a sudden I just want myself to hurt. My boyfriend is coming home from Iraq and he says we need to talk, maybe that's it. Or maybe it's the fact that they won't let me go to the college I want to go to. They being my family of course. Maybe it's just that fact that I'm worthless and should have died a long time ago...
1 make me feel

[01 Mar 2005|01:48pm]

[ mood | bouncy ]

Happy Self Injury Awareness Day!

I for one am quite aware lol. No changes yet, not ready to even begin thinking about quiting, but I have the utmost confidence in everyone here to be strong, and if you're not ready to be strong then i have confidence in you guys to come here and talk or do whatever it is that makes you feel better and take care of yourselves. I'm not being hypocritical(sp?) as I'm still harboring exactos in my drawer, but I'm just hoping everyone has a great day =)

Much love to everyone, Take care of yourselves<3

2 make me feel

[27 Feb 2005|10:37am]

well surprisingly i've been doing phenomenally well with school and stuff. weekends are my only downfall i get depressed and unscheduled and sad and crap. thats fun. anyhoo....

i need some people to critique my voice for me. this is just a little tidbit of song from me. please be harsh i need to know the truth. just tell me if i sound like a dying cat and we'll all be good.


download here ^^^^ dont worry its small doesnt take long
5 make me feel

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